As fathers, we want to minimize the impact of a divorce on our children. Combine this desire with the emotional turmoil caused by a divorce and this can lead to decisions that are well meaning, but in the long term are costly and reckless.
Here is a story of a man we will call Jim.
Jim loved his daughter with all of his heart. Wanting to minimize the impact of having a broken home, he thought it would be best for her to stay in the home she was accustomed to living in.
So when he filed, he allowed his wife to keep the home and the equity in it. He never removed his name from the loan because his ex-wife would be unable to qualify.
Not having the benefit of an attorney, he agreed to monthly child support that was near triple what it should have been if state guidelines were followed. But he didn’t mind paying it, because he thought it would benefit his daughter.
After he left, his wife moved her sister into the house to help with the costs. The sister agreed to pay rent but never did.
Without Jim’s knowledge, the ex-wife stopped making payments and she and her relatives lived there for nearly a year while the house went into foreclosure.
Shortly after she was removed from the home, the ex-wife re-filed the last 3 years of tax returns in such a way that she got a significant refund.
This also caused the IRS to recalculate a new return for Jim, in which he now owed nearly $10,000.
Later, she used existing state programs and garnished Jim’s wages for the unreasonable- now past due- child support to which he had agreed.
Jim actions and intentions were noble. He thought he would be able to trust his ex-wife even though they were divorcing.
In the end, he lost a home he could have afforded had he stayed, ruined his credit, paid more than he should have in child support (once it is agreed to and ordered you can not retroactively change it) ended up owing the IRS nearly $10,000, and having his wages garnished.
You can still do things that are in the best interests of your children without making costly mistakes. Consult with family law attorney Kyle Farquhar for his thoughts on how you can protect your interests and still be a good father. |